Toddler Tantrums.. what’s really going on?!?

These past few days have been interesting. I think that’s the best word I can find to describe my three year old at this moment…. interesting. Her mood changes with the wind. She goes from happy to sad, angry to sweet in a matter of seconds. I can honestly say it’s exhausting to watch. She has adopted the name “Betty” as in “Bipolar Betty ” and I honestly at times wonder could she be bipolar? What is going on in this little human body to make her change emotions so quickly… and become so completely irrational!?!?! We were driving home to our new house yesterday and we happened to go past our old street… let me just say that caused an epic tantrum … one for the books. I think the people in the car next to me were in shock looking into the car window. My toddler was so upset and went through every single emotion. “Why did we move to a new house?” “Why did you take my toys to a new house?” “Why is daddy on a business trip?” Oh it went on and on.. with crying , kicking, screaming. After we got home and I calmed her down she actually had a long talk with me. Yes my three and a half year old decided it was time to have a conversation with me. She is so wise beyond her years. I sat in amazement and listened. She explained to me that yelling at her makes her sad, and makes her yell at me. When she kicks me it’s because she is angry and she is sorry. When I put her in her room on time out she is scared. She went on with this very adult like conversation for almost 10 minutes. That night I started to think about the source of her tantrums this week, and there have been many. I wonder if the change of moving into a new house, daddy going on a business trip, maybe my parenting ways of discipline just weren’t working for her. It’s not a one size fits all. Maybe she is sensitive. Maybe this move hit her more than an average toddler. Today I took a step back, and when she got upset and started to tantrum I didn’t engage. I stayed calm. I listened and hugged her. I realized right now she doesn’t need to know right from wrong or yes or no, she needs to know everything is ok in our new home and will be normal again. I think these tantrums were her acting out because everything was changing. I was the one that needed to stop and realize that. Hoping once things start to feel normal again for her , she will calm down and those tantrums will subside. She took comfort in fixing things. She wanted to play doctor and make sure all of her animals felt better. I guess I was on to something … she needed to make sure all of her toys were ok…..just like I need to make sure she was doing ok. I think as parents we assume our toddlers are too young to understand what is going on, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. My little girl was reaching out for attention in hopes that mommy would make it all better. Maybe the way she acted was wrong and yes I need to correct that, but right now she needs extra love and cuddles. Hope my story will help another mom, who may be wondering what is going on with their toddler’s tantrums, to look at the bigger picture like I did. 😘

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