Are you giving advice … or are you Mom shaming?!?!
I think back to when I was young and my mother would tell me to think about what someone said to me and why before I would react. She would often tell me to consider why they might have acted a certain way… did they have a bad day? Did something happen to them? Maybe there was a reason for their actions. I try to carry this advice with me through life. Most of the time it works wonders for me… others my emotions get the best of me and I react to situations. Hey… I’m human right. Which brings me to today’s topic … mommy shaming. I have two small children, an almost four year old and a one year old. I have been the victim of mommy shaming many times and I have to say it hurts just as bad every time. I often wonder at times is this person just giving me advice in the worst way possible or do they really think I’m an awful mom?! There isn’t really a face or name to this topic either. Moms are judged daily by others from all different walks of life… their peers, older moms who feel they know more, people who haven’t had children yet, good friends, and complete strangers … the list goes on and on. Now I’m not going to sit here and say my children are perfect… nope, right now I’m currently riding the hot mess express train. I have a toddler people! Have you forgotten what that’s like?!? Or have you yet to experience the terrible threes?!?! I think every single mom out there has those days… where you can’t seem to get it together yet you still need to go out in public. That usually happens to be the day you get that unsolicited advice… or is it shaming ?!?! My goodness those are also the days when it hits you like a mac truck! Tonight I sat in Panera bread and cried over my soup. I felt like I’m failing as a mother. I didn’t make it outside to play today, we missed a few play dates this week.., my sweet little girl, in the middle of a tantrum, said she didn’t love me. Oh yes.. today was that kind of day. I know I work hard every day to make my girls happy and to fill their days with fun, but there are also things I need to get done for me. I need to run errands, cook, clean, and take care of the house. There are some days when the best I can do is crafts and play dough. A mom shouldn’t feel guilty for juggling it all. Trying to find balance in the family and home. Instead of crying tonight I decided to head to my blog and connect with my mommy followers. I know we have all been in this situation where we have felt less of a mom… and it hurts. All the moms out there working hard to keep it together even on days like I had today… I salute you! I think all the shamers out there, or maybe just those giving crappy advice, should take a little advice from my mama… 😘